I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize