she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize