you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
