Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
