Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
