Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
