My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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