Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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