Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
