i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
