called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize