elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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