What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
