I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
