are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
