Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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