she was so not down for the gang bang
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Two words: blizzard sex
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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