Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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