Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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