i wish peter jackson would direct porn
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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