i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
