And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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