I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I understand Curling. That high.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
