I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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