Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
