problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
