When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
