I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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