i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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