I have demons in me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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