its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
do nipples grow back?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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