So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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