lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
