i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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