I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
