why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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