Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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