this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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