he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
