Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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