I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
