Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
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Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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