Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
