hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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