I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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