Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
