Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize