I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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