how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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