Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
