How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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