nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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