it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
