I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
