So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
