its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize