Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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