If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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