Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
im holly from the hills drunk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
