There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
