I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
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You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Randomize