Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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