never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
