I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
