Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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