He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
