i permit you to call me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
