is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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