Apparently you make a good broom.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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