ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
