I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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